For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Very true, thank you Nell & Bluerain. Before I got out of bed this morning, I reminded myself that I have to do this and I can do it. You both are so right - the snooping is torture. And the daily contact just about rips my heart out. It gets me feeling hopeful and then I just melt in sadness.

I have a question - the next time I do see him, how should I act? I'm asking bc when he mentioned that he had a guy's night last week, I brought it up several times - asked all the who/what/when/where questions. He would not give me a direct answer, but chose to say, "probably doing _____, probably staying ______. He acted like he was staying at a friend's house (a guy he went to high school with). But, I found the hotel reservation and I know he was lying. Like I said above, I started stalking. I called the front desk before he arrived and I asked them to give him a message to call his wife as soon as he checked in. I did that bc yesterday I wanted him to know that I knew he was lying. And I wanted the message said in front on whoever he checked in with. So then last night, I sent a text saying, "Did the front desk give you my message?" That's when I got a text back that I do not believe was from him. Totally not something he would say. I wanted so bad to fire back something really mean, but I didn't. Instead, I ignored it, came into our guest bedroom where he still has a bunch of clothes and I packed all of his clothes in garbage bags and put them in the garage. I have not contacted him since that text last night and I don't plan to. I want to do things that REALLY surprise him - like putting his clothes out there. Not to start a fight, but for him to get the point that I'm no longer playing his games. So, how should I act when I see him? Do I just ignore his hotel stay? And what else can I do to really surprise him? I need ideas.

And I'm going to think about what I can to do to GAL. I'm really into pictures of my DD so maybe I'll start something new with that. I already volunteer at church - volunteered last night in fact. : ) And I used to coach cheerleading - maybe I can get a iittle more involved with that. It's time for this to be about me. Not him.