UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Lost Rabbit]

Right Miss Nell, its boot up the b*m time.. YOU are showing progress whilst H is still going round in circles. Believe me my H said all the same things and made me feel as guilty that I hadnt seen/realise/heard all the pain he was in, and also I dont for one minute think that a good majority of it came from his heart (not just the script) I totally hear you about H's affair, a marriage is not finished until a divorce has been issued and then you can have someone else! Perhaps you need to find a new way to say that when he goads you, make it sound more legally termed that emotionally termed.

Now which second of conversation, set off the unpleasantries, think back on it not in a woe is me mindset but a how do I play the H at his own game mind! Make a list when you have a minute of all the hurtful things H is likely to say and then get your own combat answer! It can be anything from an Hmmm, a dont know, let me think about! and of course if anytime you cant think of an answer if a bit of panic sets in a script answer is always handy. Ooh and dont forget the old chestnut, grasp stomach and profess you need the bathroom urgently and leg it lol!

If you dont mind me saying and believe me this is said with love! Send H to coventry for a week, it wont hurt him to stew a bit and make him think about why when things were going well and he obviously was enjoying a bit of verbal footsie (wink) that one word from him validated his script.. You have another week in your new job, breathe in those confidence moments and remind yourself of them all week. You say now you feel done with him, well start acting done, (you dont have to do it) one of things I said to H at the weekend was that I felt like that sixteen year old schoolgirl again but with a forty years olds knowledge and a wink of course.. I know how hard it is, but you have got to find a way to ignore/stop/avert H's harmful words touching you, and only you know whats the best way to do that.

We are all here to support each other, so make this plan of action week and bounce of all of us your ideas, and start to visulise you acting them out! Just like you had your run through this week. You are right H is struggling the OW if she is pulling all the "I need you" "I miss you" "Cant you come see me" "If you love me you will find the money" stunts his life is gonna be hell. So you do the opposite, dont think of it as funding his affair but more showing him OW is hassle and Nell is easy/fun/comfortable to be with! As my dear mate would say "keep at it chicken, only you know if he is worth it" and Im sorry if I sound like Im nagging x