Huge difference in one day off your medicine. In the past when you posted this late at night, your thoughts were all over the place. Tonight you seem very well.
I see that they kids mentioned "favoring" mom. That is a very common situation with ADD people. They become very focused on the object of their attention. A lot of spouses of ADD people remember the early days of their relationships when they were flooded with attention and love, beyond the normal levels, then later on wonder "Where did it go?". I suggest changing your focus from being attentive to your wife to being attentive to your children. Let them become your focus...from schoolwork to play! I think you will be amazed at how fast you can change your relationship with them and in turn how they act.
On too the kids. I used to be like you running around trying to control everything with a "it is my way or the highway" attitude. We all talk about boundaries with children, but the methods to enforce these boundaries vary greatly. I have found the "disappointment" factor works much better than screaming and shouting. I think in the end it actually hurts children more to disappoint a parent than getting hollered at. Most children want their parents admiration and support. When you switch that around and refer to unacceptable behavior as "disappointing" it hits a switch inside them. When this started my son was out of control in school and at home (I became single full time parent overnight). Hollering wasn't working and I read about letting children make responsible choices were good choices were rewarded and bad choices became disappointments....with no hollering. Example being homework. My son would fight homework and I would get angry and shout and in the end it would take 2-3 hours to do 30 minutes of homework. So I switched methods and told him he had a choice to do homework or not...it was up to him. I told him I would be disappointed if he didn't do his homework and that his grades would suffer and his grandmother would be disappointed, but the choice was his. I wasn't going to fight anymore. I do reward him for doing his homework though. Whether it is playing catch, a snack, or a run to the ice cream parlor. In affect reinforcing good behavior! After a 1.5 years...he now comes home after school and sits right down to do homework. Friends call and ask to play...his reply is "Not until my homework is done". There is no fighting, homework gets done every night, and hasn't had a bad behavior mark this school year (my old son had a bad behavior mark almost everyday). My son is only 7 where as your children are older, but the principles should work the same. Just to a little twist to the whole story, my son is a diagnosed ADHD child. So it can be done...just takes consistency.
