For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Thank you both for your respones. I really needed it tonight. I'm in a bad, bad plance. H claims he has a guy's night in Chicago tonight. But, I don't beleive him. I "stalked" him and found out which hotel he was at, called the front desk, called his room and sent him a text message. I got a reply back that I do NOT think was from him - sounded totally unlike anything he would say. So...at this point. I'm detaching. I have no other choice. I plan to keep it all business from here on out.

I'm paralized with fear, but I'm DONE texting him, begging him,
asking him to go to counseling. Somehow I'm going to GAL. Not just for my DD, but for me! I need help being strong.

To answer the questions - No, he's not asking to see our DD more than I allow. He has asked to keep her overnight, but I try not to encourage that. I explained why above.

I haven't done much to GAL. Not sure where to start, but I've got to do something. I bought a bike recently - that's a small start, because I do like to ride. And I did buy some new clothes for ME. I know these are small things - but I'm trying.

I've fallen back from all of my 180s - time to start again. Things like - stopping the unnecessary communication with him, stop the questions about our future, stop attending family events together, making plans and being a little secretive about them and so on. And STOP THE SNOOPING. Although I want to know what he's doing - it just ends up hurting me. In my mind, I have to pretend that we are divorced and try to live my life without him. IDK any other way to detach.

I hope I feel better in the morning and can be strong.