Hi Michele, Just wanted to say that I saw the show, cried the whole way through it, and pretty much feel ditto Cathy 47. It is amazing that the feelings of rejection can still tear me to pieces, even after this long time.
I, too, thought it kinda weird of Barbara Walters to show such amazement that these couples were brave enough to appear on TV. Their courage was amazing, but the reason was obvious. They are trying to help solve this crises. As are you. Too late for me, but I found myself wishing that my X would have seen the show. Keep up the good work....gd
The 20/20 program was good in helping bring this issue to the fore front. But leave it to the major media to take the unusal W with HD & H with LD to make the point. I guess in todays polically correct time us men now count for little. And people wonder why so many of are going off the deep end.
The night the show came on, my W was laying on the couch. I thought she may have been listening to it. She may have been sleep. I wish she could have watched it with me so she can see where my head was during the last year or so.
I wish that she could have seen it's not her, it was me. I saved the web page from the ABC site and was tempted to create a hotmail account and email it to her so she can see it. I reckon she would figure out I did it and that would probably not make her happy with Blackrook.
Any ideas on how to present this material to a woman who wants(I think/She thinks)out of a SSM or should I just stick with my DB plan?
Blackrock, Try printing out the first chapter of SSM, it's here on the website, and give that to her. It's not as long as the book and is a good starting point.
Scott
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
Quote: Blackrock, Try printing out the first chapter of SSM, it's here on the website, and give that to her. It's not as long as the book and is a good starting point.
I had thought about that. But, I wonder what she would think about this? I now the hurt is deep and she's closed off to the world. She says she doesn't feel anything just like the classic signs in Michelle's add for SSM. I was thinking of having a friend get her this book and see what happens from there. Scott
First, I am not trying to offend ANYONE here as we all know that LD/HD issues can be devastating. I am just trying to point out a double standard I think I am seeing here.
If a man is unhappy with his LD wife and considers divorcing his wife, he is such a BAD guy for not "Accepting his wife for what she is", "Afterall, it's only sex", and "Sex does not make a marriage". Yet I see 2 women on TV who don't get enough, they both OPENLY contemplate leaving their husbands, and has anyone seen or heard these same comments about the ladies. LD guys are treated almost like some freak of nature while LD woman are "Nature taking her course". No wonder LD guys can be so ashamed. They are not given the same leniency like women are.
cemar I understand your being bothered by the seemingly double standard...however I think you may be missing something...if a man strays on his wife who's leg locked often times even the most sensitive woman will say, well she wasn't taking care of her man. Yet if a woman who's h isn't taking care of her in that same way strays, well, she's just a whore isn't she?
I think the show focus was set on ld men because there are so many women out there (yours truly among them) who suffer in silence because their h is ld. The old line of "not tonight honey I've got a headache" is common to hear from a woman, so it really isn't going to get great ratings is it?
there are of course other factors involved in why the focus of the publicity seems to be on the ld h with a hd w but those I'll spare ya for now.
Yes you face a double standard as well on the whore issue! It's not fair, that's for sure.
Let me ask you, can you as the HD wife have an acceptable marriage with a LD husband. I know when the sexes are reversed, us HD men are told we should accept our wives for what they are. And yet both women on this 20/20 special said they more or less would NOT accept their situation and would eventually leave if nothing changed.
20/20 supposedly did a story years ago about HD men with LD women that I would love to get a hold of in case there might be some advice that moght help my marriage.
Quote: Let me ask you, can you as the HD wife have an acceptable marriage with a LD husband. I know when the sexes are reversed, us HD men are told we should accept our wives for what they are. And yet both women on this 20/20 special said they more or less would NOT accept their situation and would eventually leave if nothing changed.
it's a battle! sometimes I like to think that I can be content with this m the way it is (also need to note there are other complications see my thread if you wish). I am after all supposed to be a woman and a thing like lack of sex is not suppose to be a reason for me to be unhappy (at least that's what society would have me feel) I fear nothing changing and my desire to be desired getting in the way of me being happy and living my life. Let's face it most men do look at women that way and not just their w's, I am attractive and men do look, thus it makes it difficult for me to do things and not wonder gee is this man thinking of me that way.
will I leave simply because of a lack of sex (well it's more than lack of sex it's lack of passion) for that I do not have an answer. I suppose my hope is that I will either loose my desire or h will gain some and I wont have to make that decision.
Quote: cemar I understand your being bothered by the seemingly double standard...however I think you may be missing something...if a man strays on his wife who's leg locked often times even the most sensitive woman will say, well she wasn't taking care of her man. Yet if a woman who's h isn't taking care of her in that same way strays, well, she's just a whore isn't she?
LL
Not in this country, anymore women support their sisters who feel they have been shorted to play on the side. We had a couple that was going through this, since we were friends of both the H & W my W & I agreed to not take sides and stay out of the middle of it. Any guesses what happened. I come home on a friday and ask why "her" car was on the back of our property? My W said "I told her she could park it for the weekend while she's away with her BF so her H don't see it!" me "WHAT THE HECK, I THOUGHT WE HAD an AGGREEMENT?" her" Oh that well you don't understand what she has been putting up with and how she feels" me "but we had an aggreement!" her, "but she's MY friend!" me"what about H & the kids?" her "You just don't understand."
About the same time this happened a talk radio host did two hours on how women and men will protect women who cheat and men and women will tell on the Husbands. The whole 2 hours was filed with calls that proved this point. I seen it work in action on a number of cases. 75% of Divorces are filed by the wife and many go to another man. So I DON'T BUY it that women are on the short side of this.
