UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Eskimo Nell]

Dudess, I appreciate you dropping by and the suggestion of the book. I shall check it out when I go to the library next. (Will ring them and ask them to get it for me, if it's not already in stock).

I have checked my legal position both in the UK and here in Aus. If I file in the UK, it means that it would over-ride if H were to file here in Aus. He hasn't mentioned the D word since June. He's not sure where his life is taking him and I don't think that D is a priority in any case. He says that he would never M again.

H is living his bachelor life-style and that's all that he's concerned about. He's not 100% happy with ow - there's a problem but I can't get to the root of it. I think that it may purely be because the tramp lives interstate and that makes life not quite so easy (and expensive, hence he pushes me on the financial aspect from time to time).

I don't want to take this action at all because I would just love for him to come home. I feel confident that we could work it out but H is adamant that he is done - or is that the aliens just telling him so? I don't know what to do hence I sit here and continue to DB, try to GAL and work through my pain.

Meanwhile, life is ticking by and that's another month gone before I turn around. My DB efforts fall on stony ground all the time - H just does not respond to whatever I try. I see other DB'ers making great progress (even if slow) but I never have anything good to report and I am really starting to feel sorry for myself all over again.

I just don't know what to do next. There was a slight improvement in H's mood when I did the nc thing for 3 weeks and he did speak more freely about our R when he came to see me. Trouble is, it was all said nicely but the message remained negative. I have to start believing that he is done.

Today I was all for emailing and requesting a meeting to tell him that I am done too (I'm so not!) but I have changed my mind and think that nc again is just the way to go. Detaching and hoping that it will do something ... even though I am pretty confident that it will not.

Woe is me :o(