WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

One thing is for sure.....she is doing all this flirting for a reason. I was beginning to think if could be for a couple of reasons when "bam", she hit you with needing some money. Did she just get this bill, or has she known about it before she started all this "contacting" stuff she's been doing?

Sandi,

I definitely hear ya. I'm pretty sure I gave her the bill after party on Sunday - if not, it was the previous Sunday. So it was defintitely before all this stuff. So I am very aware of the coincidence.

It's very similar to how things had seem to get better between us right before I found out. It coincided with the time where the OM stopped responding to her as well as when she asked to borrow money to pay off the loan for all the furniture she bought for her place.

Back then I told her that I felt like I was getting played and used. I feel the same now, so I know the answer will be no as her actions has put her in the position so she will need to deal with it. I know this will re-escalate again. I am really tempted to call her tonite and talk to her about this, but know that unless I tell her that I will give her the money, it will be ugly again.

She hadn't called/asked about the bill since she asked me about the money. I had told her that I would look it over and let her know. When she picks up the boys, I will return the bill back to her. I don't want to start a discussion in front of the boys. If she asks in front of them, I'll just tell her I'll talk to her when I'm driving back to NY.

I know if it gets ugly again, I plan to treat her as a little child and just watch as she throws her temper tantrum. If she get offensive/abusive, I will just remind her that she was the one who cheated on me and filed for divorce so this is a result of her choices.

If she doesn't ask, I may just send an email with a simple one liner in line with what Coach suggested. But I'm open to suggestions on how to proceed if she doesn't ask.