UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Eskimo Nell]

Thanks Oz, Buttercup and Rabbit for the support.

I'm feeling pretty grotty today. I don't sleep much past 5am and the waking thoughts are always the same.

Stripped the bed as soon as I got out of it this morning (which really hurts my fingers at the moment) and whilst disrobing H's pillow, I thought what a waste it was of even putting a pillow case on it in the first place. That's not the only thing not getting any action these days!

It's another dark and miserable day here - I guess it will brighten later but it doesn't help your mood when all is feeling glum.

I just read Cas's post and the comments from Sanderika REALLY got me to thinking about whether I want to hang on and 'wait and see' or do I take the control back from H and force the situation by telling him that I intend to go back home and file? I think that he would be upset about that as he has already commented on how disadvantaged it would make him.

Next thought is, do I ask to see him so that we can finalise these arrangements on our finances and then drop my own bomb on him? Maybe it would give him something to think about rather than me having to feel so powerless all the time.

I still love my husband but I am so sick of living this way.

Thoughts please??