Well, last night H, S and I hung out with the in laws. It was a really good time until I said something about having a long week next week. H was interested and I just said it will be busy. He kept pressing and I just left it along which made him mad and we got into a small fight, but no yelling just more a heated disagreement.
I called him right away to say I was sorry because I did not want to talk about us, and he said he appreciated that. Later we had a great conversation about our relationship and what things were going well right now and what things were not. Later he text me and said that he wanted us to work and would like to talk once every couple of weeks about what is going well and what has bothered each of us. I know not to get too excited, but it is a pretty large step.
Now tonight I was thinking. I have not been telling H I love you for about three weeks now, and at first it was hard, but now it really does not bother me. It actually worries me how much I don't even feel like saying it. Is this normal? Or is this the point of stopping to saying I love you? That it makes you realize how important it is to a marriage to say I love you or else you can easily "fall out of love". I know I still love my husband. It just bugs me how easy it is for me to not say I love you.
Might I just be so tired of fighting for a relationship that I am relieved to not be the one pursuing anymore?
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
