My nc has been 28 days now and I'm quite happy with that and I certainly feel better about myself because of it. H came here the other day to drop off something for D. I was outside and saw him drive in so I went and got D. He made no move to come in and I made no move to go out.

Each Friday I get a business report which H forwards to me. I haven't received it for the past two Fridays. Yesterday I emailed him and politely asked for the reports, nothing more. No response as yet. H usually replies punctually to texts and emails so this is interesting.

Been having a great time with my friend. Friday, a large group of us went to the surf club for dinner. Yesterday we had a beach walk, a long leisurely breakfast at a beachside cafe, a tourist drive, lots of chatting and then drinks with another friend who we worked with many years ago and who I haven't seen in 15 years. We then all went to dinner. It was fun reminiscing.

I have to take my friend to the airport today and then I'm off to buy my new dress, shoes and jewellery for the wedding on Friday. The dress is coral which is a colour I love.

Sanderika, it's good to have you around here again. I've missed hearing from you. I know that sometimes that distance gives us time to reflect and it enhances our db in the process so glad you had that time.

My post operative stuff is going well and lately I have resumed my beach walks and doing well, although they're a bit shorter, a bit slower and no steps(we usually have about 60 of those).

I just read back through my posts as you did...wow quite a lot of thinking and reflecting there, too. I feel better now that I am more detached.....don't think I am now as aware of H, his moods or his movements. He is on with his life and I am on with mine. I just hate the fact that I am still in limbo with no financial settlement and no divorce. I am getting increasingly anxious about moving on.

My final turning point was his moving day when he chose to have OW and her son help over his own kids eventhough the kids had been involved looking at houses with him all the way through. I think it's one thing to do things to me but the kids are a different manner. Finally I accepted what I've really known all along...this is not the behaviour of the man I married and I don't know why I tolerate his behaviour when I wouldn't accept it from anyone else in my life.

I take H's nc as a sign that he couldn't care less and maybe that's helping me to detach even further. I agree with your thoughts that our H's are not happy people. My MIL said that H is now very serious and certainly not a happy person.

I have concluded that H has known all along how much I wanted to reconcile and how much I was prepared to work on the issues. He spoke the right words but has only backed up with actions that suited him. Just as you have said, Sanderika, this lifestyle does not suit me at all. I am tired of the game. Enough!!

So...a very long winded way to say, Yes I most definitely think we are in the same place right now Sanderika!