Hope, Keep your faith that this can be a new marriage. Always always. You know my situation, so you know that's what I'm doing.
With that, I have also protected myself. Despite having a great weekend....I have protected myself with my lawyer. While I've asked for an extension, I have also asked for lawyer's fees. In my eyes, that's the tripping point for H right now. I may pull it back because I can ask for it later if things really did progress that way but I put it in there for now to let H know, I'm not oblivious, I am aware of the reality that this could end.
If he wants to do the legal separation and you agree to it, do NOT agree that it started before OW. A one night stand or brief relationship is not the same as having an actual girlfriend while married in the courts eyes. He's protecting himself and blackmailing you to do it.
Maybe sit down with him and say "I love and appreciate how much time you are with S. But the fuzzy details are too hard on me and my schedule. To avoid fights in the future, let's create a schedule that's firm so you can make plans."
