Sorry about your friend's sitch with his kids. That has to be rough, and it sounds like he needs to get his own self in order too. (BTW, I lived in WA state for over three years, know the SeaTac area well.)
On your own sitch and the directions of your thoughts, I think you need to ease off of telling your W what your plans are -- and just do them. Actions speak louder than words for many folks. And I don't think another statement from you about what you plan to do is going to have the desired effect you're seeking, not from your W.
