WAW Using God

[pigskin]

Journaling.

Hitting somewhat of a new milestone for me. While looking at pictures of the kids my W showed me on her phone, I paged through and found pics of the OM as well as the OM with W. Natural reaction - anger, especially since there are no pics of me on the phone. So I was mad for about 10 minutes and then decided to hell with it, my wife is gone. There is just this woman here who lives with me who has deep emotional and psychological issues. I said nothing to her about the pictures, which is different from what I would have done in the past, and just let it roll off my back.

I'm going to treat it as if I'm living with a mental patient who can't control what she is doing until she decides to do something about it. I won't be cruel to her, she is in a state which is consuming her and causing her to act in ways she wouldn't be acting in if she was "normal". She knows she is doing wrong, she has admitted it many times. I can't stop it until she wants to stop and gets help.

We're going to schedule time with a MC, which hopefully will help, especially if they can get her to understand that she NEEDS help. Until then, I am going to live my life, look out for me and the kids, and let her sort herself out. I won't allow anything that imposes on me or my dignity, but I'm going to let her go her way while I go mine. She's now a roommate with problems that she needs to deal with on her own. I won't let her problems impact me or what I do. And I will treat her as a roommate who just happens to be the mother of my 3 kids.

I will no longer initiate even the slightest affection. If she wants it, she'll have to give it. I'm through with anything that even hints of pursuit. So I guess I've entered into the LRT phase of my DBing. We'll see what happens from here. I'm LRTing because I can't force her out of the house since I have made the decision that I won't file for divorce or separation, for many reasons that I've previously posted.

Any lies or blatant disrespect will have consequences that I will have to figure out on my own. While we are still very friendly at home, from here on out its just me and the kids. The roommate can choose to tag along, but will be treated just as if she was a male friend.