You have to stop trying so hard in hopes of making him react better to you.
Look at it this way....Let's say you have a co-worker. And it's one you work with weekly, not every day but three times a week minimum. This person doesn't like you. Not sure why, you have thought about it but can't put your finger on it. It's even more odd, because when you first started working together, you really hit off. You would go to lunch and happy hour and knew personal things about each other. While you don't but gifts for all your co-workers, you did for this one and they got you a gift too when the occasion warranted it. So, you actually confront this person nicely, "Do you have an issue with me?" And they say a few things about you, some of it legitimate some of it truly bogus. "I don't like how you put things off for me to do when you could easily do it yourself, plus it's your responsibility first. I feel taken advantage of. And I don't like your eye color."
Ok, it's true. You have put things off and they've had to pick up the slack but your eye color? And they are serious, they really don't like your eyes. Ok. Get real.
What would you do? A good person like you will make the concentrated effort to pull your weight. On occasion you are going to be slammed and they will have to pick up the slack, that's work, that's life. But you are not going to do anything about your eyes....because you can't and really, you just don't want to.
You now are doing your job to your best ability....no longer leaving it for this co-worker. You aren't conceding, you aren't being a wimp as you do more to pull your weight and meet your responsibilities. You are doing the right thing, you are acknowledging you were wrong and that you want to make it right.
With your eye color, well, co-worker will just have to deal and like you, realize they are wrong there. Your eyes are great and you wouldn't change that about you even if you could.
One of three things will happen: 1. The relationship between you and this co-worker will improve, back to like when you first started. Or 2. things get better but not like they were. And 3. they continue to be an ass. And if 1 happens, great. This too is a good person who was mad, and answered honestly their issues with you. The first issue was legit, the second stupid and they realized that when you first changed to make the effort to repair your bad work habit and therefore that relationship. But ultimately, you were the winner, not because the relationship improved but because you improved you and got rid of that bad work habit when brought to your attention. As a matter of fact, your co-worker had some bad habits too that were making you nutz, but those habits have been improved upon to in reciprocation to your efforts.
If two happens, that's ok. It's not like it was, but it's better and maybe down the road, things will just continue to improve. But the great things is you're a better person.
And finally with 3, if that's the outcome, you really don't need this co-worker. It's sad that they can't come to see what you've done in terms of your changes and if they can't forgive you for your bad habit that's now been corrected, if they can't see it for whatever reason, then you don't need to worry about it and you didn't waste your time because you improved you.
Does any of this help or make sense?
Improve you. If H notices, and in turn makes changes too, right on. If he doesn't, you are still the better you and no time has been wasted.
