I guess I should also not really talk to her about too much of what goes on with my daughter when I have her. What do you think about that? Is that the right approach??? Thanks
I am not a parent so it's very hard for me to answer this, however, I would say that you should do as RSF suggests and treat your W as a friend only. Give her minimal details to feel reassured that you took good care of D and that you had fun without even mentioning your situation. It was just great F and D time!!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Quick question: We have gone back and forth on getting my little one a halloween costume. We did go together to look at some at one spot. I was hoping we could pick one out together, but she seems like she doesn't care really. She says to go ahead and get one or call her Sunday.
I am thinking just go ahead and get her something by ourselves. Any thoughts or inputs would be helpful.
Quick question: We have gone back and forth on getting my little one a halloween costume. We did go together to look at some at one spot. I was hoping we could pick one out together, but she seems like she doesn't care really. She says to go ahead and get one or call her Sunday.
I am thinking just go ahead and get her something by ourselves. Any thoughts or inputs would be helpful.
Just be in charge, be in control and make the decision. Don't make W feel bad, don't be harsh, just be in control. Don't waffle, don't go overboard discussing things. The cumulative effect of this will be very attractive and very positive when you both look back on it. Don't expect it to mean anything to W right away. It will make you feel better immediately though
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
Tks guys! It is awesome to have some feedback. I never know what to do. I feel like on here I can get some guidance with consideration of some DB'n..
Hoping for the best.. We have been in this situation for over two years now. I know I am supposed to concentrate on myself, but really would think it would not be as volitile as it is after all this time.
OK. So I go and drop off my little girl after our weekend together. I go to their house (ex lives with her mom) and ex comes to the door and her mom is behind the door looking on. Very little conversation goes on. She asks me if she ate, if she has been asleep or had a nap and quickly says bye.
I do get frustrated (but try hard not to let it show) at how a mom could not want to know more about what is going on with her daughter while she is not there. Also, how someone would not care at all to try and improve the situation and try to communciate.
Is it really because she is hurt and still cares down deep and doesn't want it to show? Is it because she does not want me to think there is the slightest chance of us working things out? What would cause people to be so mean and distant. Please help me understand. Here is where I have one of the hardest times!!!
Oh.. She says bye and almost runs in the house. So even if I did try to engage in some kind of conversation there is no chance. This has been this way for two years. God how i really need some relief.
So can anyone help me understand why WAS tend to be unable to communicate with the LBS? And how long after some serious DB can this last? Need some encouragement and guidance.
So can anyone help me understand why WAS tend to be unable to communicate with the LBS? And how long after some serious DB can this last? Need some encouragement and guidance.
Because she see's you as the source of ALL her problems.
No time line. So, don't try to put yourself under one.
Get to work on yourself. I forget, but have you read DB or DR yet?
Do the WAS really waver that much? Over the past couple of years at varioius points it seems my ex actually was able to make some efforts to get along, but quickly took a turn right back to the issuesville.
Tough road for sure. Hard to understand what makes her come and go. I would like for us very much to get along. It is difficult. Do you think she musters up enough strength to face our issues (or interact with each other) for a short time and then becomes overwhelmed with the reality of it and then reverts back? I am sure I did pursue her some during that time along with other times as well. Trying to change that too now that I know better.
I have not read the books DB or DR yet. I have read a lot about them on the website forums. Need to get them asap.
I am really trying to understand, develop and change myself and the things I can change.
It is so good to hear the success stories of others on here. It provides a glimmer of hope to help keep you going.
