Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Hope4us]

GIMA, Sounds like progress to me, but don't get in a hurry. If she wants to talk about the R, then ok, but don't bring it up yourself.

You're having good times together. She's sharing with you and you're sharing with her. That's GOOD. Don't get in a hurry and wreck it by pushing.

I know it's hard. Trust me. But right now she' probably testing things and if you push it, it'll set you back.

Just enjoy the conversations, enjoy the time you're spending together. You keep filling up her love bank without expectations and pretty soon she'll be thinking more about you guys and not just herself.

Let me share a little story to illustrate.

Last night, W and I went out for dinner. We had a really nice time. Came home and sat on the couch together just talking. W got her phone out and started looking at the pictures on it. She went through all her pictures and when she got a ways back, like to a year ago she showed me a couple pictures that shocked me. Almost a year ago, when W was telling me she still didn't even know if she wanted to "try" to work on our marriage, we went to Disney World, just the two of us. Prior to us leaving I called and arranged to have a gift basket delivered to our room so it was there waiting for her when we got there.

So we get there and the basket is in the room and W walks up to it and says "what's this?" I said, it's for you. On the card I just said "Welcome Home, Looking forward to a great week". The Welcome Home thing is related to our timeshares at Disney and that's what they say to us when we check in. Any way, she looked at the card and set it down and didn't say a thing, didn't open the basket or anything. Of course that bothered me, but I didn't let it show.

At some point in the next day or two, W opened up the basket, but didn't really say anything to me about it. But.....there on her phone last night were two pictures of the basket! And she said she LOVED getting it.

So the point? When your W is still in her own Limboland, things you do that show her love and that you're interested in her and thinking about her do have an affect, but she just might not be in a place she can share that with you yet because she's still not sure about her feelings.

Don't push it. Enjoy the times you're sharing together. It's showing her you guys CAN have a happy marriage.