I agree with what nell said, its also important to remember that as she said he only sees the bad right now, he also only remembers the bad. You have to maintain while you talk to him, be the one to end conversations and always look and smell great. Is he asking to see your child more than you allow? I dont think that many would disagree with you not forcing him to take her.
If you set boundaries, you must, must, must enforce them. Save your energy and breath if you cant enforce them, it will make him respect you more.
Its been too long of you trying something thats not working! Give your heart a break and remove yourself from the situation. Cut off communication about anything but business matters, just bills and the kids, and even during those talks, you be the one who has to go. It will not only give you some time to heal your heart and your brain, but it will give him time to wonder what you have been up to!
What have you done to get a life? I noticed that you had lots of great mom and baby activities, what are you doing for YOU? Remember, doing what is good for you is good for her! Read the DB books again, I also recently read a book by Gary Chapman called Hope for the Separated. What were your 180's?
I think that a big part of what goes through their minds has to do with guilt and shame, and they convince themselves that this is what they need to be happy... little do they know that it will almost certainly lead them to long drawn out misery, my H left 19 months ago, and hates the life that hes created for himself, but he made the bed, now he has to sleep in it!
Most importantly, DBing is for you! This is so that YOU can make positive changes and so that you can come out of this as a new person, one who has grown and made positive strides forward. Its about learning to cope in a devastating situation, and you can do it!
I hope that things get easier for you, and get on here and vent anytime!
Do something great with your weekend!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
