I'm new wondering if this works...

[BigJohn]

Please clarify "considerations beyond just his feelings?" I don't know what you are referring to.

Hope,

What I meant here is that with men, it's not all 100% about "feelings" like is often the case with women. There is at least potential for reasoning and rational dialogue with your H. Understandably (given my own sitch), I think that this factor could be a real advantage for you in yours.