I'm new wondering if this works...

[BigJohn]

But from a guys' perspective - how to lure back the man? I know what a woman likes from a man, but I have no idea what a man likes. If he wants space - if he is unsure anything will change, if he is hurt from a lot of years past - how to get a guy opening up and trusting and wanting to try again?

Hope,

A good place to start to get a better understanding on this topic would be to read the book "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley. I think that once you understand the basic needs of men as outlined in this book, you can look to fine tune your approach to your H based on his particular personality type. For example, I am more of an aggressive/confident personality type therefore one of the behaviors that I find attractive in a woman is assertiveness. If the shoe was on the other foot in my sitch and my W was like Stronger, she'd have me eating out of her hand in no time. Alternately, a Type B (passive) man would likely feel uncomfortable and maybe even intimidated by a woman who exhibited that type of behavior.

I think that when you are considering how your H may be feeling about being unsure, dealing with years of hurt, wanting to trust you and wanting to try again, you don't have to do a lot of heavy thinking. I think that if you gave some consideration about how you would feel under the same circumstances, you would likely be close to the mark. That is one of the advantages of being a woman- you are much more naturally in tune with your feelings whereas it usually takes some trauma for a man to come closer to the same sensitivity.

Another advantage you have with your H is that unlike a woman, your H will likely be responsive on some level to considerations beyond just his feelings. (No offense meant here!)

Hang in there!