For what it's worth (and I am no expert) it sounds like you need to start throwing out some 180's now. Have you read about 180's? If not, there is a forum on the home page so go check it out.
I would go pick up daughter, smile, be confident, short, blunt in any conversation and be totally mysterious about the 'new you'. Make sure that you are dressed really well and looking hot! Greet D, say to W "will get D back by xxx time" and then leave, without looking back.
When you take D back, give her a kiss, tell her that you love her - and make sure that W hears (bad people don't do things like that)! Don't engage in any conversation with W at that time ... just say "thanks for letting me take D, we had a great time! Bye then" and smile as you walk away. Do not look back.
I can't speak for others but I find it useful to cut and paste quotes for myself as I read through the threads. Here are some that I have picked out lately - see if you can relate or use any of them in your own situation - and good luck!
WAS is viewing through the lense of someone who has already decided to leave and is looking for evidence to back that decision up. WAS only sees the bad right now.
When you have interaction with your S, be interested, but don't pursue.
Know that it is a long row to hoe.
Detach, until S feels you are gone. That is what will "shake things up"
Detachment is a choice. Detachment can be faked (and should be if necessary) Detachment has more to do with the WS's perception than it does with your own feelings of being detached. Doesn't matter as much whether you "feel" you are detached as long as the WS perceives that you are.
I can't do XYZ - I already have plans - maybe another time?
If you choose ow then so be it. I am fine without you and as a matter of fact, I think it's for the best (me dumping him)
Firm, strong, confident, resolved
This is your mess, you need to clean it up. My patience won't last forever
I've worked for my marriage - changed attitudes, beliefs ME. I have invested time energy and focus.
Be short, blunt, mysterious
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
