SSGA--Listen. Stay calm, Coach is right. You will have to protect yourself. Take steps to do so.
My H has actually filed. We're still dating. I had to respond yesterday. I asked for an extension, which in my state is a viable option as we have a child and the express purpose of the extension is to see if we can reconcile. I also asked for lawyer's fees, which is probably pressure on him, but I am not paying for this if I don't have to. If we reconcile, we'll be responsible together. If not, he's responsible alone.
You should do the same with the lawyer's fees.
Do NOT leave your house or give up the kids if you don't want to do so.
No matter what stay calm.
Surreal, funny story. When I was served at the end of August, H was here. He was laying in my lap watching TV with me. There's a knock on the door. He sits up and looks at me. We both know who it is. I go answer the door. I get the papers. (The kid delivering them had to be in high school and he had a night stick. Seriously. Apparently, I've learned, they get attacked because they are literally the bearer of bad news!) I read them. Huge mistake in the papers. In the meantime, H has gone into S's room to hide I guess. I read them, point out the mistake, H says "I'll get it taken care of." I get out the ironing board and iron his clothes (and mine) while watching Family Guy and say nothing else about it....like it never happened. H had no idea what to do or say. He finally says "Are you ok?" I said "Yes....what do you want me to do with these papers?" He said "I don't know." I asked after a bit "Why did you file?" He said after a long pause "I don't know." And truthfully some days he does know, and it's because he thinks he wants out. Other days, he's completely confused.
I will say, I do believe now that this has started, the actual process with lawyers, he's really really thinking more. And the more normal and calm things are, the more his wheels turn.
