I agree with what everyone has already said. You remind me so much of one of my best friends...she has entered abusive relationship after abusive relationship, not of it physical. She is now married to a man who treats her a lot like your H treats you, and she somehow believes she is the cause of it.
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be able to set boundaries and have them respected. You are entitled to your own opinion and needs and wants and desires in a M.
You are not a typical WAS. You are putting forth effort, and you actually have a really good reason to leave. Abuse is never okay, NEVER. What is your H *really* doing to improve the M? What is he willing to do to salvage this M? How does he demonstrate respect for you and your boundaries? By masturbating in the bed beside you? By continuing with a profile on an adult website? By blaming you and your refusal to take medication on his "expert" opinion?
You deserve better, and at this juncture, your H seems unwilling to let go of his selfishness and willingness to continue to hurt you in favor of working on the M.
Your H is NOT A VICTIM. Your H could take control of his life at any time and DO SOMETHING to make the M better. But instead, he's mopey and depressed.
You deserve better. I hope you know that.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
