Looks like I might soon be LBS...newcomer here

[brownidmom]

Really rough day at today. H woke me up this morning at 4:30 when he sat up in pain, chest pain. Has been having various medical issues over the last year, though he is very athletic, in shape, and healthy. After many tests, nothing found. Part of me thinks he has caused his body harm by carrying this grudge and unforgiving heart around all this time. Stress maybe.

Anyway, H wouldn't let me take him to ER. I told him I would wake the boys and we would take him. I asked if this was a new pain, or one that he had had before. "Let the Drs. be the Drs." My F had his first heart attack a month after he turned 35 and H is 40, so after living with heart issues in my life since the age of 14, I know it is nothing to play with. Luckily, my F just turned 60; he's a walking miracle.

Conversation turned into R talk, so many things said it is all fuzzy now because I'm so sleepy. THe final gist from H was that he just realized that I don't want to take the blame for this. Oh contrare, mon frere! I will take full responsibility for what I have done, which is lied to you about sleeping with another man when I was 19 yo, before you and I ever had sex; but I WILL NOT be held accountable for anything I have not done!!!

I think he is moving into the guest room. I asked point blank and he would neither confirm or deny~"Won't that require a conversation?" was the exact response. I replied that I wasn't suggesting it was even a bad idea, just wanted to know.

Work was exhausting actually. Deadlines, then priorities change, PITB employee, on and on...

So, one of the things Dr. said to me was not to leave my job or ask for old job back. I am a manager with a team of 22 and with all M distractions and headaches, work is even harder. They just posted another job I am qualified for, would be a lateral move, so same money, but less stress because it isn't management. I'm contemplating putting in for it. I will pray on this because I don't want to make a wrong move. Just thinking that being able to leave when I am SUPPOSED to leave wouldn't be a bad thing. I'm a salaried employee and managers don't get anything for extra work.

Honestly, I am just too tired to think tonight. H just went to pick up some japanese food for dinner. Friday is always movie night, kids' pick. Doubt I'll make it through till the end without having to go upstairs.

I will start reading DR tomorrow and spend quality time with boys and try to enjoy the weekend, no matter the mood of my H!