I really don't know what H is doing and I really don't try and think about the meanings of his actions any more. So if he comes home, so be it, if he doesn't I am okay with that as well. I think he knows this and maybe in some weird way his alien mind is thinking this is how he can start to come back to the M. Don't know.
Went out with friends again, the problem is I really am finding it hard now as they are all couples and you do start to feel a bit of an outsider.
Yes Nell I am looking forward to the coaching I will be really interested to get the coach's perspective on things and see if there are any other things I should be doing etc.
You find as each week goes on you cope that bit better and each backslide doesn't hurt as much.
Well H being so far up his butt obviously last night, didn't bother to come home. I know I should not have had any expectations but I did as he had not said he was staying out which he usually does. This has irritated me no end, so venting and ranting here before I get on with my day, I'll get over it.
Even though you sound brave Oz, I know that you will be feeling disappointment in your heart - and wonderment of where H is and what he is doing - isn't it natural for us to feel that way, despite that we try not to? It's part wifely love and partly our intrinsic 'mothering' nature.
I am wondering if our actions make the WAH's do weird stuff too. I have watched my H do stuff that's evidently not his normal modus operandi and I have heard words coming out of him that he would never have spoken previously. When I have been mysterious, he has either been even more so or, in a 180, he has said that he is going to do things that he would previously never have considered. I think that they have their own way of 180'ing and behaving to see if they can get a rise from us.
My H saw a note on my fridge board which says "Flights for April?" and he didn't make one comment. Ordinarily, he would have been straight in to that but he made like he just didn't care what it was about. I know that he saw it as he commented about something on my shopping reminder which I post on there.
Are our acts making them react?? (I sound like Carry Bradshaw now)!!
Anyhow, hope that your H is back by now and it will be interesting to see what he says of last night.
Have a lovely day Oz and remember to not react at all. Learn from my mistake this week! Will be back later :o)
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
No not disappointment as I really had no great expectations just annoyance at the lack of consideration in at least letting me know he wasn't coming home, but then they don't consider anyone but themselves.
I would say now at this time of day being 5pm he is not coming home tonight either, but once again I had no expectations so I am not disappointed. Looks like he won't be picking D up after all.
I hope your day has been good Nell, I need to learn from my mistakes as well.
They are so selfish (((Oz))). Why can't we just hate them for that and have it over and done with?
Hey, it's only 5pm with you so there's time! Mind you, I think that I would be setting myself up for a fab night in with candles, movie, takeaway and a big box of chocolates, if you aren't going out, of course! Maybe to even go to bed early, sitting there in a sexy nightie and reading ... that's a warm and cozy picture of a loving wife - that your H is missing out on!!
Have a good one, Oz.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Boy do I have a big problem. H has found this site. I don't know how, but he has just left to get D and I went to open up the site and the search history had the this site and he has been into the areas of infidelity and living separate lives and and the MLC threads.
Oh my god, what the heck do I do now. I wondered why all of a sudden he started talking tonight about being the best thing for me if he left, but all his buddies are talking him into staying and telling him to go and work things out.
I do not have a clue how he found the site as I meticulously delete all browsing history and clear private date.
Either he installed a keylogger on your computer to 'catch' you at whatever he's been suspicious about, or he found it through his own Internet searches about divorce.
What comes before this site in the history? Is there a google search, or are there other websites you have visited? Do you see your email on the search history too when it wouldn't be there?
Finally, is it possible that you forgot to remove it from your history once and you just forgot you did that?
Breathe. (((Oz)))
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I am meticulous with the search history removal I even do a clear private data each time I use the compute. It now makes sense why he was asking me certain questions and making the statements he was earlier tonight.
Breathe, I am hyperventilating. I can't believe this, it will either be a good thing or bad I don't know.
He was asking strange questions tonight about if other men had shown an interest in me at all when I go out with friends etc, he can see from his angle that it has been better for me with him not around, all this kind of stuff. I am reeling at the moment, not sure of what the hell to do. I don't want him finding this post. Panic Panic Panic
Oh my gosh! Have you left the DB book lying around the house at any point? Maybe that is how he thought of searching for it? If he didn't clear his cache then it sounds like he might not be savvy enough to have installed a keylogger...but who knows. I'm sure the negative side to this is obvious...but the positive side is that maybe he's putting some thought into his actions?
I have another technical piece of advice but does this board allow direct messages so only you will see it?
