Well..things continue in a mostly positive direction. Some weird drama on my birthday. No time to tell the story right now, but it was primarily more stuff between H and S12. It ended differently though, with apologies and hugs and return to sanity. It makes me hopeful that the bad stuff is from bad habits and the sanity is recognizing it. I hope.
Today is the day I tell him about the money. I have a terrible urge to put it off til next week because we have to spend the weekend together...but I feel a very strong tug to do it today. I so want this sword not hanging over my head anymore.
I went for a long walk and prayed during it, and things seemed smaller and more reasonable to me. I mean, it is what it is. We made 25% less income last year so I had to use some of our savings and I used our credit card too. Not on high living. I didn't tell him to protect him when he was sick, and I stand by that decision. I didn't tell him after that to protect me, and I halfway stand by that too, as he was drunk for six months and I didn't know what to do. Anyway, I don't want it this way, and I want to have transparency on money. I hate this [censored]. I never wanted to "be in charge of it" all by myself anyway, and he refused to have anything to do with it.
Okay, well, the other thing was he sent me this email today...he said it really reached out to him, and he is printing it out to put on our fridge.
It was extremely difficult to upset Jesus. He invented self-control, peace and calmness under stress. This was the day, however, when the scribes kicked over the beehive. To accuse the Holy Spirit that filled the Savior of being the spirit of Satan was the final battle cry. Jesus' response was that their declaration was unforgivable. His line of defense was as true then as it is today.
A house divided against itself can never stand.
That's why Satan will pull out all the stops to divide your house. The most powerful institution that God possesses on earth is a family, a home united in love and sold out to Christ. If you don't believe me, ask Ruth and Billy Graham and the kids!
So Satan whispers in your ear, "Your parents aren't being fair!"
"Your little brother stole your flashlight."
"Your big sister called you a liar behind your back."
"Your wife isn't all she ought to be."
"Your husband makes the same mistakes over and over again."
His list of accusations goes on and on for a lifetime. If you listen to him, you begin to believe him. Then there's strife; a wedge forms between you. If left unchecked, the wedge becomes bitterness, anger, fighting and eventually, you have just the thing that Jesus said would never stand ... a divided house. God's voice tells you to forgive. God's voice says don't judge. God's voice says be patient. God needs a house united.
QUESTIONS:
1. Has Satan been speaking to your ears lately to cause strife in your heart towards a family member?
2. As Christ forgave you, can you forgive them? Will you?
3. How can you contribute to a united family today?
