A revelation came to me the last time I left town just to get away from his weekend craziness. I started thinking how really sad this is for me. I know a pity party in the car. I was leaving a home I loved every weekend because of what he was doing. I decided right then and there, that this was going to be the last weekend I was going to do this! I am staying home and facing my giant no matter what I see. GOD is with me and holding me with HIS right hand. I am not alone, for HE is with me. AND no matter what it looks like, I will continue to keep my eyes on the LORD and focus where I am going and not on what I'm going through.
I bought some make-up at Target, and I bought a sexy nightie at Kohl's. On sale of course! I made sure to be up and wearing it this morning when he left for work. He told me to have a great day while going out the door. There was a time not long ago, that he couldn't get out the door fast enough. Probably afraid he'd have to say something to me. And when he did say something, he wouldn't look at me. He had those weird evil/guilty eyes! There was a time when he would come back into the bedroom where I was still sleeping and give me a kiss good-bye. How I long for that time again... (sigh)
