My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

I'm on the go here but have to call u on this. You came here because you were NOT getting the results you wanted and you could not accept your W having OM.

Partially true. I came here in shambles to try to figure out how to save my marriage. I hadn't really been trying anything beforehand.

You never really backed off completely and gave her a legitimate separation with boundaries that respected both of you.

I think this true though I confess I don't know exactly what this looks like. How far back is backed off and how long is long enough?

I'm not judging you. This is hard to get. The advice has been pretty consistent but the implementation has been too challenging.

I'm pretty thick skinned most of the time and I'm genuinely appreciative of the advice I get and I really want to learn and make things work. I want to succeed here. I really do. I don't feel like I'm being judged by anyone and even if I did I wouldn't let it stop me.

Now, it is clearly defined for you.

This is where I disagree. Admittedly it may be my own denseness that is holding me back but the path isn't 100% clear. When I hear coach, Gucci and stronger giving me pointers I hear very different things. I hear stay engaged, I hear completely disengage, I hear validate the things she's saying, I hear ignore and keep moving forward.

The only real answer might just be, hang around, try stuff and see if it works. Do so with love and respect. Make sure you're taking care of yourself along the way and everyone should be fine in the end.

But, I see you as resentful and disgruntled. Recognize that you asked for this and deal with your feelings with IC. Any pissiness on your part will be intolerable to her and I suspect that is what she is offended by and pushing away. Take the hit. See what happens. It is not over and she is paying attention. Regardless, you can grow exponentially by handling this rationally and with clear, reasonable action.

My biggest personal challenge is quite honestly keeping my ego and jealousy in check so that I can look at the entire situation with love and compassion. That is not easy to admit but it's the truth. It's also not easy to overcome.

BTW. I didn't ask for anything. I effed up and now I'm trying to make things right. It was a long hard road getting to the place where we both felt our relationship was dead and I personally felt worthless. It didn't just start when I walked out the door.