I wanted to chime in on the dating issue. I don't know what's right for you. But do you imagine that with your wife having a boyfriend that she isn't still in contact with him. Yes, she misses her family, she doesn't like that the girls are being impacted by this, and she probably does have moments of second thoughts. The hardest thing about all of this is that she's still connected to you and you seem so close.
My relationship was that way also. We saw each other a lot. We went out to eat. We bought presents for each other on b-days. We went to movies together. I heard the same indecisiveness from my wife (including some of the more wacky things and my wife DOES NOT have a psychiatric disorder). There are oddities in many of these situations. And guess what? She had someone else in her life and while I was sitting there thinking she was considering a repeat relationship with me, she was going strong with someone else (fortunately just a long distance EA). I couldn't know what she was thinking, but I sure perseverated about what my actions meant to her. She maybe cared less...who knows.
We divorced despite the seeming positivity to by situation. So I let go. I dated. I enjoyed the feeling that I was worth something in someone else's eyes. I was a reasonable catch. Maybe you aren't ready to date and I think that's fine, but you sure as sh$t better let go of the rope and let her live her life while you live yours without any expectation that she'll ever return. You have to live as though she isn't coming back. You have to let go of the rope. She needs to at least sense that you a strong and confident enough to date. Enjoy women flirting with you rather than let it make you feel uncomfortable. For too long you've made it abundantly clear that you are waiting at home for her to return to it.
And yes, I'm back together with my wife and re-married. It came under her own time Of course I dated whether I wanted her back or not. You can't hold your breath that your wife will come back. Live your life. As I said before, it doesn't have to include dating but it should include putting yourself out there and enjoying your life.
Thank you PD. I agree with this whole-heartedly. I am trying very hard to drop the rope. I am going out tonight to a get-together with other single parents. I am very nervous and conflicted about it, but it seems like a reasonable first step to moving on with my life. It is great that you remarried! How long did it take before your W realized you weren't so bad after all. What happened?
