Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

uggh,

Without rehashing all the details as there are so many and quite frankly is what caused amental breakdown Sunday that I'm just starting to rebound from and am for the first time feeling the dire physical effects of:

This whole thing was set up since day one, probably about 3/08, maybe even prior to that. Everyone who had something to gain from me 'losing' became X's best friend, well they were all partying together anyway so go figure, but anyway, they all showed up on the first day of court and sat on her side, even those who claimed they couldn't stand OM.

It became apparent as to why at each hearing, a new lie would come out of the wordwork: lyrics to songs I was doodling were contrued as "suicide notes", a picture of "my refridgerator" AFTER I left the house, "full of alcohol and no food in the house" are just the cake toppers that said I had a tough battle to fight.

So, I folded. I didn't want the kids in mediation and in a custody trial. I said 'fine, if you think you know what's best and have to stoop to these levels to ensure you get it, have at it'. I had every full and well thought that in time as it is now already in just 3 months, things would not be as X thought they would pan out.

Even with my support, X has some serious financial issues, more so than I do even after losing about half my income. She can't control them, and they won't let her either. They're getting the idea what happened here and what's right and what's wrong.

I really dont have to do much but make sure they do not get permanently damaged from X's antics, I reassure them every time I speak with them that I love them and care for them and surely their mother does too. I WILL NOT resolve to the leve of trash talk XW does with no regard. When they complain, all I can do shrug it off.

All I have said is, 'you have voices, if you're unhappy, speak up and be heard, you have every right to a happy and comforting lifestyle to grow and mature. If you're not happy now, you need to speak up.'

Eventually, I will not be surprised at all that XW voluntarily asks to change the custody agreement, actually from the little I see and hear of how life is, and that her happy little world she thought have has no chance to materialize, I'm surprised it hasn't happened all ready.