Sandi Thanks for responding. I do get what you are saying. Actually I have not let him know what I am feeling or that any of this is bothering me. I have not asked for a hug or kiss or anything. I have been very cool and only communicated with him about the kids. He has been calling me through the day to see how our son is who has been home with the flu and then he will ask how my day is and tell me something about his day. I am always very upbeat and usually have something funny to say but I never volunteer conversation. I let him lead it.
Interesting things have transpired the past 20 hours. He is in charge of a large fund raising dinner tonight and last night he asked me if I wanted to go. It is a really nice event. I love these dinners so I was pretty cool in saying I would go because I like the auctions and the people who go. He told me all the plans, and since he is in charge of a lot of the set up, he asked that our son bring me so I don't have to park and we can then drive home in one car. I have not mentioned it since. He brought it up to me again this morning, saying he will call later with any more details if I still wanted to go. I said I do want to go, it's a fun event.
also last night, he said, you do realize I am going out of town this weekend? I said, "yep" and he said, I will provide you with my itinerary and with the guys number he is working with and that he is staying with this guy who is his friend. I just said, "ok" and I walked away. What do you make of that? I think it could be any number of things, but the first is that he is establishing an aliby. However, he has never done that before. he just does what he wants with no regard. I have also thought maybe he is being honest--although I am being very careful with that right now because he has lied so much. Anyways I think it is very interesting.
If something is turning around with him, I want to keep it going in that direction while I myself continue to heal. I guess I am doing this more for myself. For this weekend my kids and I are going to an RV show. Now next weekend he is going back to CA for a family wedding, which a while ago we decided he would be the only one to go for financial reasons. 3 weeks ago however I said I wanted to go to see some of his family I have not seen in a while, well last week he said plane tickets were too much, so I planned a weekend to the beach with the kids. He is now making so much noise about not wanting to go to this wedding. I am standing firm on my plans to go to the beach, which is costing more than a plane ticket, but I don't care. I need to do this for my kids and me. they need some fresh scenery too. It has been pretty tense. So I am doing things for myself and my kids. I also bought tickets with 4 of my friends to go see Journey in concert next Tuesday. I have not told my H that yet.
I have not heard anything about the job. I am going to call them today.
As for changing my appearance, I might get my hair highlighted. I have been dressing really cute and looking good. Let me know what you all think about all of these new turn of events. Again, thank you for all your support and really pointing me in the right direction.
