I think you are right. He told me last night that he understands what I'm saying about commitment, but there are other core issues he is worried about (In other words, things I have or have not done 2 years ago and before). This is his way of avoiding answering the commitment question entirely and he gets to do whatever he wants and feel in control.
So after his talk that had nothing to do with my question, I told him that I was going to conclude from this that he doesn't want to commit. Of course he said that he didn't think that was appropriate either.
I'm getting tired of being treated this way. From him having an affair and then me sticking around to work on things only to find him not wanting to do anything different on his part. He is still being very selfish and I think it's time I move on with my life. I don't think he wants me very bad as his wife.
I have moved out of our bedroom into another bedroom to make it clear that I don't accept his continued behavior. I think I will really focus in on my career and save some cash where I can as a fund for when I see I need to move out.
I can't keep putting my life on hold only to keep being rejected. I think it's time for me to mentally move on and eventually maybe physically.
