Nothing is as bad as it sometimes looks. A silver lining is the awesome lawyers you have on your side now. In that regard, things have been improving, not so?! But, still, perhaps a good cry is the thing then get on with life.
Dick's truth is mostly only in his head. It doesn't matter who he was married to, the outcome would've been very similar. So, no beating yourself up. It's just a waste of time and energy.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
So very well put... it is true, regardless of who Dick has been married to, the end results have been the same... except that he has been able to take me back to court all these years. Some days it really irks me to know that man didn't make over $30,000 all his life, until he lived under my roof.... yes, that's "my" as in I purchased that house 5 years before he hit Phoenix. He was given that job which has lead him to the money he spends breaking me down in court, because of me, and the people I knew, and who had trusted me. In fact the Manager that hired him told me "If he's good enough for you, then he's good enough for me." Ewwwww, it chaps my ass sometimes!
Beating myself up is the one thing I'm very good at.... =D
A good cry would equal to a good emotional cleansing... probably over due by now. I've had this stiff upper lip for so long, I'm not sure my lower one could quiver enough to cry.
The other piece of news I recieved today....
The truck, that which my S was going out to California to drive home, the one his Father is giving him..... it turns out Dick has given it to D now. Oh, way back in August, after D decided to stay, she was told she was going to recieve a vehicle.... After all, she had worked all summer long as a life guard, making $10/hour working 32 hours a week. D had saved most of her money for a car down payment.
Now, the plan is, she takes the truck, her Dad will fix it up,(remember he hasn't touched the truck in two years..) and then she will be free to buy a 4 wheeler to take to the place her "boyfriend" rides.
Now, Dick is going to pit the two of them against each other.
Can someone please hogtie that man and throw him deep into the ocean! Please! For my children's sake.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
So what happens to D's money now? does she have to pay her dad for the truck?
I know that feeling of being the stable person that gave the jump start to our H's. I don't think they want to be reminded of that! I think it's a huge factor in why they now resent us. This week during the whole cell phone switcharoo my H made a comment about how someone with a career like mine needs a fancier phone. It was the way he said it that made me cringe inside. I'm not in competition with H but maybe he's in competition with me and that was a reminder to me!
I can send you a rope to do that hogtying!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I've got rope, I'm just afraid to do it myself, because the way I feel, I'd wrap that rope right around his neck!!!!
I don't want to go to jail for murder.....
Well, not yet anyway.
D's money, at least enough of to buy a 4-wheeler, is in her bank which is associated with Dick's account. YES! I'm nervous about this situation, because I know this man, and nothing is sacred, and I know for sure he'd take that money and spend it on something he wants.... heck, it was what one of our first fights was about, he took the money given to me by my Father, that I had in a savings account. He never said a word, and one day I went to check the balance and there was nothing left.
Mind you, during this time, I was paying all the bills, the money he earned was to be used catching up his child support and paying down his credit cards..... I gave him 18 months, and found out 2 months later, he was further behind in his child support AND deeper in credit card debt. What he did with all of his money and the money he took from my savings account, is still a mystery.
D hasn't lost hope in her father yet, it may take a few more months. She isn't saying anything to me if she has lost any money yet, but I would assume he's borrowed some and the reason he is going to give her the truck.
The truth will come out, it's only a matter of time.
In the mean time, I'm practicing my knots!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
He's a cheat and a fraudster. Imagine, if he can do this to people he pertains to love or have loved (the mothers of his children, and his actual children), what must he be doing to others?
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
True, he's on stage at the moment, but eventually the mask will fall away and the stage lights will dim and the curtain will fall. He's been on the stage all of his life and one day, it's all going to end. I suspect the end is closer than we all think, but time will tell.
Your daughter is going to learn the hard way where it comes to her father. If they have "joint" accounts and her money is sitting in that account, I can him taking the money and lying his way out of it by saying she can have the truck. Your xh reminds me of my xfil. He was the exact same way and we called that "conning someone". He sucked the very air and blood from people and when there was nothing left, he left them in the dust.
The only relationship he had w/his two sons was when he needed money or something from them. Right now, that's the path my xh is on, i.e. living out his life and attempting to do the exact same things that his father did w/his own mother. Unfortunately, I'm nothing like his mother, so is play acting isn't working, i.e., that why when he asks for something and I say no, I don't hear from him again until something else crops up.
The reason I have mentioned this because your children will grow up and the lessons that they have learned will help them see him for what he is. Hopefully, in time, they will learn skills to help them deal w/him on some level.
I do hope that you are okay. I know this gets to you and why wouldn't it? Have faith, for his stage performance may be coming to an end very soon as there is a new director in town who is willing to challenge him, his lawyer and the judicial system.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
What you say is very true, I feel it in my heart. Although I do see Dick riding off into the sunset, not to be heard from again, until his own fate comes knocking on the door in the name of alzheimers.
I really do believe he is going to follow in his Father's foot steps eventually... I see a few hints here and there, as I once read an article on alzheimers, which stated an undiagnosed or underlying depression may lead to alzheimers in some people. I personally think his family has had problems with depression, however, hasn't been able to talk about it, or deal with appropriately.
Through all of this, I realize how lucky I had been as a child. My family had to deal with my Mother's depression, or being bi-polar, and we learned to talk, and even joke about many of the things we experienced. Yes, at one time it may have been difficult, however, it did give me to tools that I needed as I grew into an independent adult. Therefore, I realize my children, although hard as h#ll to deal with now (at least for me) will reap many rewards for all they have been through.
As for me.... waiting on the rainbows, they've been out of sight for way too long. I do hope and pray my new Attorney' have what it takes to bring light to this ever lasting divorce. I would be nice to see how winning feels! :-D.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
Dick has been served, just heard from S, who also showed me his new phone his Father sent him, so once again, S is on his Father's service. Dick has also promised S a truck that he will purchase when he is in town. It won't be much, probably a $1500 truck to ease his conscious. It's more than I can afford at this time... and S will be happy.
The Hearing is scheduled some time near the end of the month, I don't have the exact date, but it gives me a week to get my ducks in a row.
D hasn't been heard from, not only me, her brother, but her closest of friends. Don't know exactly what this means, but I don't like it. As it also sounds as though Dick won't bring her back at the end of the month either.
That's all for now, I didn't get a nasty email from Dick, for being served, and I'm kind of surprised. I know he feels since he has "residential" custody, he can choose all on his own where the children go to school. I hate the fact it feels as though all my rights have been stolen away.,,,,,
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
