What happened to "he's not worth the gum on my shoe"?
What can he say that you don't already know? How will he change when he doesn't?
How can anything be different when you both tread water?
He seems to respond to being whacked in the face with a wrecking ball and then reverts of denial, inaction and blame. (I'm not doing anything until you (K) calm down.)
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
There is a long list forming here... Maldives, here we come, LOL!!!
Hey Kathleen, you are right. Unfortunately, my stilletos are killing me right now.
You kept mantioning to me that book you liked, the not just friends one. Well, let's say, that after the disclosure he finally realises he wants me back. And lets' say (humor me here), that he is willing to do the work. And to find that out, I only haveto wait another day or two. What do you say? Do I wait?
Or are you asking me, where I stand? Because if that is the question, I have no idea where I stand. I am reliving part of the process of 2007-2008 only that I am much more stronger. And I dont have blindfolds anymore. And I can judge a ...gum when I see it. So, I am pushing and trying to move forward. And I say trying because he is stalling. But not for much longer. Please, show some trust in me. I know my credibility is low, but I am not stupid. K
Tried to take a pic last night but it didnt come out good. And I already delivered it to the client.
Does DB registration date (earliest) get you to the front of the line? LOLOL. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Wow, is that how the book says it goes? It doesnt surprise me. I think you should wait and see what he has to say, of course! We can clear off to the hotel SUnday night too, if he wants to talk Sunday when he brings the kids back. Wow, everytime I read horoscopes these past few days I think of what you are going through... like this excerpt from the famous American astrologer Erik Francis (on sasstrology.com):
Events of September represent a culmination of the astrology of the past 12 months, and if we look as far as late October, we see a culmination of developments of the past two years. For the next few weeks we get to ask, if not answer, the question: what have I been doing with all this time? Implied here is the question of whether you’ve been wasting your precious days, and seeking some sign from the cosmos that you have not.
...see you tommorow!!!! I have the teabags xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Never ever would I think, imply or say that you are stupid and/or that I don't trust that you know what's right for you. But.. this is my take of the man I've read about for over a year.
As an outsider looking in, he keeps repeating the same behavior. The 'fake' reconciliation, the 'not getting back' to you, the avoidance, the passive/aggressive behavior, the meltdown at the individual counseling session where he finds he has issues to work out with his family of origin. How has any of that been resolved?
Lots of stuff.. very little movement.
He is consistent. Ready to blow you off when you're complacent, wanting to 'make it work' when you're done.
He is weak when it comes to decisions, commitments, communicating.
He is a constant, the father of your children. Well he made them but how often has he been with them, involved in their lives over the past 3 years?
You WILL get a letter back within the time period if you tell him it's over. If you don't, you won't. Or, the letter you receive will not contain a golden nugget of truth. Even if he promises you the world and your weight in gold, nothing matters til there's action. The only action he's had is with his long time mistress. When and if you get the opus of his journey of why's and how's won't answer your questions, won't bring resolution. It's the same excuses over and over again, nothing new.
And he's consistent with her. She has the same issues with him as you do. He's not changed. He's not different. "No, no, we shouldn't be together, Mistress. Ooops, my bad, did I really make love with you?"
I don't trust him, Maria. He knows how important family is to you, he knows your buttons and how to push them, how to keep that hope alive, how to string you along, how much you want the best for your children.
A year ago, people were urging you to lead because he was lost. He's still lost.. in himself. He'll only wake up when the door slams in his face (again). How do you lead? By kicking ass, doing what is best for you, Kalni Sunshine Maria and in turn your children. And that's not dangling on his hook of promises barely or never kept.
I know my credibility is low, but I am not stupid.
Hey K, this is not about credibility or about smarts. It's emotions and when emotions are involved, all bets are off!
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH.....
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
