Sorry to hear things are rough. Great to know you have wonderful support groups. Fantastic that doormattishness has been replaced by incredible womanosity.
*hugs*
What he does is none of your business. Finding out from the kids (either you or him) puts them in the middle. Any judge will see that.
Document what his usual and customary time with the kids was as far back as you can and continue. Write it down. A friend of mine would make notations in code... Stamps 9.15, Groceries 1.45, Gas 4.45 as a way of denoting the date and times.
Courts have seen it all.
Continue limiting your emails. If illness is an issue, include it in the note but don't nitpick. Stick to the facts, no finger pointing, no emotion. Include what you would to a babysitter.
