I am very sorry to hear that your sitch has not improved. As you know there are many wise members on here that will tell you many things. Some work, some don't because we, along with the dynamic of our relationships, are all different. I am not very far along into my seperation (2 weeks, bomb on 7 July 09) but papers have already been filed. Doing something(s) to make yourself better will help (exercise, hobby, etc.). You may or may not have already done these, but one thing that I key in on that you said is "Letting him decide if I'll ever be good enough". Why let him decide? It is YOUR choice on how you feel about YOURSELF for you and your daughter.
While I created most of the problems that resulted in my STBX asking for a divorce, the things that have helped me the most is finding joy in my children and improving myself. Yes, I slip back 15 times a day but I am finding things that make me happy too. Seek out and embrace those things out that give you hapiness.
Sounds like you guys still communicate about the R. When I moved out a few weeks back I went to LC and it helped some intially, but I was somewhat doing it for the wrong reasons. I see now that LC/NC is soley for ME and why would I want to communicate with someone about a r that they have already deemed hopeless. Yes, it's hard and it hurts, but for me it hurts less than hearing that it is over again and again.
Like I said, I am a rookie to all of this but I just wanted to pass along what has haleped me SOME.
