In-house Separation - Need advice on my DBing

[aflowergurlie]

Thank you SSGA - I will be watching your progress as well. Hope the best for you.

ShockedOne - That thought had crossed my mind, perhaps OW isn't all that it was cracked up to be a couple months ago. My therapist said it seems like H wants both worlds right now -OW as a distraction, feel good from the attention and affection - then me at home now happy, friendly, cooking and cleaning for him, but without the intimacy and real relationship of a M. I have struggled most with my thoughts of all our relationship history and all of the infidelity. I often wonder how crazy am I to even be trying to DB and not just doing the D.

BC37 - I too have been trying to implement as many 180's as I can. I have been doing all the things on your list as well (except for the ones about the children). I had known for several years that I too desperately needed to make changes. I struggled so much with my hurt and pain and buried anger that I put up a huge wall and became extremely defensive about most everything. I also often punished my H (sometimes consciously, sometimes without even realizing it) by withholding praise and recognition from him, even when I most wanted to give it to him when I could see how hard he was trying and how much good progress he was making. I would always just hold back as a protective mechanism for myself. It's funny how that kind of seemed protection is actually shooting yourself in the foot most often. Thanks again for your input and I completely empathize when you say "who knows what tomorrow holds."