Changing Man

[The Wifey]

The nurse practitioner put him on a testosterone patch for 2 weeks, and then tested his levels. Duh, they came back normal. (That is the purpose of the patch, right?) He has never had a repeat test.

The patch isn't that effective (bio-identical cream is- and it's cheap). Secondly, "normal" means normal for one's "reference range" (age group) and if I'm in an age group in which low T is rampant, why is that "normal" something most dr.s aim for. I did research and then found a Dr. who targets "optimum levels". FYI in case your H ever gets motivated to pursue it.

So yeah, BOB and I are well-acquainted.

I hear ya, but as we all know, BOB is best enjoyed when he's part of a threesome!

Thanks for the very good info. Perhaps if he went beyond the primary doc and to a urologist he would get this info.

And I think my H would rather die than have a threesome with BOB. I am, of course, a little more open-minded on that. But, alas, its still as cold as Alaska in that respect. : (

[mac-ct]

Wifey - you have me in stitches

Mac

[The Wifey]

Wifey - you have me in stitches

Mac

Better to laugh than cry. Dang cold showers, anyway.

[Gypsy]

Hello All..

The Gardener's computer caught a nasty virus and is receiving necessary treatment. Unfortunately by the time it's better, Gardener will be long gone enjoying his time with sun, sand and fun.

So.. he says hello and wishes all well until he gets back.

[mac-ct]

And when is the man coming back? It's been SOOOOO long.

Gman - we miss you

Mr and Mrs Mac

[Gardener]

Yo, Mac,

I'm back.

The poem you wrote and put on Quotes From DivorceBusting (II) was beautiful!
Really!
I haven't had time to catch up on everybody but I'm real curious about and buoyed by your Mr. & Mrs. Mac Sign-off. Did you bust your D???

[Dia]

Hi, Gardner,

Yes, Mac's D busted. His W is home and presumably they are too 'busy' to post.

[Gardener]

Hello, guys.

Just got back online and GOD have i missed you all!
Big computer crash, lost everything around 8/1 or so. Local Mac place coudn't fix it so I shipped it up to a family friend/genius in Boston.

So, let's see. Things continue to go along (downhill).
Gardener Blended Family Annual Seashore Vacation was, not surprisingly, rather morose though half-heartedly hidden just under the surface by all. Made worse by contrast to last year's which was the first time everyone was able to make it in a couple of years and the highlight of the week was a rainy day during which we sat around watching the 16 yr, old wedding videos ("Look at Gardener without white hair! Look at Mikey when he was 13!". etc.) The four "kids" (adults) still can't believe that two months later came the bomb. Wife came down mid-week and rented her own place for two days and then went home. Saw us a couple of times, stayed by herself mostly and didn't join us in much. So sad. She had a fit when she saw my copy of The Walk Out Woman - when your heart is broken and your dreams are lost (and it's such a great book that's given me so much insight into, and empathy for, her. "You should read it," I suggested, in vain, I'm certain.

When I do see her I don't know her or her dead eyes or stone face.

I have completely detached. I think about the sitch far, far less and anguish over it not at all (still quite puzzled from time to time, I will admit, though). Found myself returning to my faith, which out of pain I had cast aside - when I needed it the most (go figure). Did a lot of work on forgiveness alone, with my IC and with a clergyman. Forgiveness is quite central to my faith, like most. But it's hard. I'm quite familiar with forgiving "seventy times seven times" and all. And I've heard the old adage that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. But in The Walk Out Woman there is a quote, a poem, cited, by Lewes B. Smedes that begins' "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

That did it for me. A watershed (metaphorically and in tears). And so I forgave her in my heart. For everything. And I have been better, more truly detached and...lighter ever since.

She however is getting uncharacteristically more bitter, falsely accusing me of actions I have not done as well as mindreading my intent (incorrectly) on most things. And, oh, those cold, dead eyes and stone face!

Mediation has started, negotiations begun, she served me 9/09, and the house is on the market and all the children are still dumfounded, heartbroken and/or just mad as heck.

So, that's my update. Now, I've got some heavy reading and catching up to do on many of your sitches.

I've missed you all everyday and have thought about and prayed for you. Good to be back.

[givingitmyall]

Great to have you back.

One of my favorite quotes on forgiveness I read here was "Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."

Welcome back.

[Gardener]

Thanks, buddy. Good quote.
When she served me (or rather when I was served in her presence) I read the "broke down irretrievably" part and said "when did you try to retrieve it?". Came out snippy, I'm sure, but I asked it as a legitimate question.

Then I quoted my (currently) favorite Mary Chapin Carpenter (wife's favorite artist) song, Closer And Closer Apart and said, "Pride hears its voices and fear wins again, and another cruel ending calls"

Oh, well.