Ok I may be setting myself up for 2x4's but I need to know -
I still pay the car insurance as well as the cell bill - He is on both - Should I remove him and if so do I tell him?
Don't pay for him. Email him and let him know that you're having him removed from the account on X date, so he'll need to make arrangements to get his own insurance/cell plan. Not sure how to phrase it, but I'm sure others will chime in.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Hi, I'm back, finally. Re: Car insurance, when I received the last bill, I called the company and told them that my wife hasn't lived here in 10 months, gave them her new address, they called her to confirm, we both lost multi-car discount, she had a fit, but what the heck.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Ok last night I did a 180 for myself (finally)... I don't go out and I don't drink - I was on the way home from work yesterday and having a pity party about the fact that H has been gone for 10 weeks and then decided it was time to move forward and paint the town red... Went home - Got my Mom and Sister on board and we hit the town... I actually drank, ran into a very old friend, sang some karaoke, drank some more, hit a few bars and had a wonderful time... I didn't think and I felt no guilt for the first time in a long time - Thank you all for the advice! I will be going out tonight as well and I am looking forward to it Though tonight I won't drink as much - I am to much of a lightweight lol.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I have to tell you that my faith has really helped me through all of this journey. I even went to my list of posts today and was drawn to come here first.
Listen, I could have written every one of the questions you wrote about it not being fair, how can he be ok when I'm a mess, etc. In fact I have, here and in my journal. What you are feeling and going through is a very natural, normal and human reaction to an abnormal and incredibly painful experience. Husbands aren't supposed to just up and leave without trying - right?
The emotions are like waves. They will come and go for a long, long time. You have to learn that they will come and develop coping skills. I had my bomb last June, and I still have those days. I'm peri-menopausal to boot so it just boosts the emotions all the more.
You are doing ok, honey. Really, you are. I know it hurts. But the worst has already happened. Now the only way to go is up. We have to. We really don't have a choice. Actually we do, but that involves that whole insane asylum thing and I don't think I would look good in one of those white coats that they wrap you up in when you completely wig out.
One day at a time. And yes, do GAL, but limit the alcohol. You can have just as good a time looking over a diet coke as anything. The alcohol is a depressant and Lord knows that is the very last thing I need.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I have also started journaling just to keep my thoughts all clear...
I did go out on Saturday however didn't drink...
Had to many on Friday thinking I would just drink the thoughts away and ease the unbelievable pain another human has caused but it didn't work...
I went to Church yesterday and felt much better...
H finally called last night to talk to the little one (been 8 days since he has made any contact)...
I let the little one answer the phone, sat there as they talked and then once my son was done he asked H if he wanted to talk to me - H yelled the word No and then hung up...
Never happened before and I felt like he had slapped me...
My little one stated he hated his Dad for hurting my feelings....
Told him I was fine but I think he was reacting to the shock which probably crossed my face...
I HATE that he still causes a reaction like that in me and it would be much easier if I didn't love him nor care anymore...
Fine he wants to blame me for all the wrong that has ever gone on in his 41 years of life however don't subject our 6 year old to it...
Either that or his ftgf was right there and he was showing his ass for her...
Someday I am going to wake up and no longer feel this pain - That is my prayer for today
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I am sorry that your husband is being so difficult. No one deserves the treatment he is dishing out. Church, journaling and going out with friends always help me. The drinking seems to work for a couple of hours, but it never lasts.
I have also started journaling just to keep my thoughts all clear...
I did go out on Saturday however didn't drink...
Had to many on Friday thinking I would just drink the thoughts away and ease the unbelievable pain another human has caused but it didn't work...
I went to Church yesterday and felt much better...
H finally called last night to talk to the little one (been 8 days since he has made any contact)...
I let the little one answer the phone, sat there as they talked and then once my son was done he asked H if he wanted to talk to me - H yelled the word No and then hung up...
Never happened before and I felt like he had slapped me...
My little one stated he hated his Dad for hurting my feelings....
Told him I was fine but I think he was reacting to the shock which probably crossed my face...
I HATE that he still causes a reaction like that in me and it would be much easier if I didn't love him nor care anymore...
Fine he wants to blame me for all the wrong that has ever gone on in his 41 years of life however don't subject our 6 year old to it...
Either that or his ftgf was right there and he was showing his ass for her...
Someday I am going to wake up and no longer feel this pain - That is my prayer for today
serenity,
you would have been shocked having anyone yell at your son on the phone. it's unacceptable whether he's your husband or a telemarketer. hang in there, looks like we're both in this for the long haul. i myself am waiting around for a divorce that hasn't come, wondering whether to sue for spousal support to protect myself. i think it's great you went out drinking, obviously it's a depressant but it's good to break through and have fun. you'll be fine as long as you don't do it all the time!
good luck,
ryepatch
me 30 WAW 30 M 8 yrs T 9.5 yrs
3 cats 9,6,6
W left 5/31/09 W stopped most contact 06/26/09 W filed 7/22/09 (haven't been served)
Hi Tristan & Rye - Thanks to both of you for stopping by...
You both are right - The drinking didn't stop the pain except for a few hours plus I am not a huge fan of the way I felt Saturday morning...
It was a 180 for me however one I will not be using again lol
I have another 180 in the works...
I am going on a working vacation next month alone...
I will be in Maui for 4 days and I have no plans of telling him either (or should I?)...
2 days filled with work/meetings/conferences...
2 days with just me myself and I...
I don't go anywhere alone (don't like to be alone) so this is a huge step out of my comfort zone however I need to prove some things to myself so I accepted the job...
I am a bit nervous as well as scared but I need to know I can do this alone
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
