My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

Just talked to her. I was very upbeat. Didn't say anything about email. Gotta get a plan.

[aliveandkicking]

That's the ticket!

[RedSoxFan]

I think I'm going to need some guidance and encouragement. I'm kinda feeling like just accepting the inevitable and getting my best deal.

I mean maybe that is the way to go. I'm not sure my situation is like that of others here.

Alright, I need to stop. Now I'm feeling needy and embarrassed. This stuff is effed up.

[aliveandkicking]

It is effed up for everyone. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Your deal should reflect what is fair, reasonable and in the best interest of your children.

It sounds like you have one scenario in which you capitulate to your W (thinking that is fighting for your marriage) and one where you fight for your "best deal".

This shouldn't be about DBing or your agenda, it should be about what is objectively fair and defensible.

Trust me, you being rational, reasonable and looking out for yourself are consistent with running on two tracks simultaneously. I don't think you get this. When the men in these sitches stand up for themselves in a rational, reasonable and respectful way, it has positive results. Sometimes the W comes back and sometimes not, either way, you get to have a clear conscious, keep your nuts in tact and are attractive to women in general. I hope you can get this concept. Look at it as negotiating a business deal with a friend, you wouldn't screw them over, nor would you allow yourself to be screwed over.

Make sense?

I think this is actually going to be progress for you and get your agenda much clearer.

It is not over. Time to man up and strike the right balance.

[RedSoxFan]

It is effed up for everyone. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Your deal should reflect what is fair, reasonable and in the best interest of your children.

It sounds like you have one scenario in which you capitulate to your W (thinking that is fighting for your marriage) and one where you fight for your "best deal".

This shouldn't be about DBing or your agenda, it should be about what is objectively fair and defensible.

Trust me, you being rational, reasonable and looking out for yourself are consistent with running on two tracks simultaneously. I don't think you get this. When the men in these sitches stand up for themselves in a rational, reasonable and respectful way, it has positive results. Sometimes the W comes back and sometimes not, either way, you get to have a clear conscious, keep your nuts in tact and are attractive to women in general. I hope you can get this concept. Look at it as negotiating a business deal with a friend, you wouldn't screw them over, nor would you allow yourself to be screwed over.

Make sense?

I think this is actually going to be progress for you and get your agenda much clearer.

It is not over. Time to man up and strike the right balance.

Thanks A&K I get it. I really do. I just don't know if it's worth it to keep fighting. In my mind divorce is very final. It has a huge meaning for me. My parents did it and I promised myself I would never do so. It is a big psychological event for me.

If she completes disillusion paperwork I assume it will be be continuing where we are now with her having custody, living in the house, me paying twice what I should, etc. If we're really going to end it then the house should be sold, custody should be 50/50 and child support should be fair. Once I put that on the table all bets will be off. At least that's my feeling. I think she'll be p*ssed off and that will extinguish any hopes of reconciliation.

[aliveandkicking]

I think she'll be p*ssed off and that will extinguish any hopes of reconciliation.

Very often, they are pissed and then they get passed it. Talk to Coach about it.

[RedSoxFan]

Just got this text from W:

Can you pick the kids up after school instead of 6? I'm going away for a few days. If you can't I will have my parents stay with them for a couple hours after school.

[Dia]

Hey, there, RSF,

I just wanted to stop in to offer some moral support and tell you to hang in there. Re: moving forward on the D and getting your best deal - well, that's certainly your decision to make, and nobody here would say Boo to you if that's what you decided to do. But it's also good advice not to make decisions when you're emotional, and depression/sadness are emotions. IMHO, let this sit for awhile.

My thoughts are with you.

[aliveandkicking]

Just got this text from W:

Can you pick the kids up after school instead of 6? I'm going away for a few days. If you can't I will have my parents stay with them for a couple hours after school.

You are being tested whether intentionally or not. But I think it is intentional. Be cool. No matter what it will pay off to be really non-reactive.

[RedSoxFan]

I failed