need support

[awest1217]

For the most part, we just don't talk. We see each other maybe twice a week. H has a degree is psychology and said if he was a therapist he would say the same thing mine did and that is No contact with the OW period. I completely agree with this, but I want him to at least come home first. Then like the book says just let him let her go on his own.

The controlling thing was a problem before the marriage, and even our pastor said that I needed to stop being so controlling. I just didn't realize it was that bad until now because H never expressed his concerns.

I know H and I have a lot to work on, but when we have our good points they are really great, but I agree that I need to stand up for myself and say enough is enough because although he has only done this to me once in our marrage, the other women thing has been a constant problem through dating. I told my therapist that is why I was going to counseling. To save my marriage and to learn to set boundaries and stick with the consequences. One affair can work through if both parties want to, but a second or more, a lot harder and maybe impossible.

I just need to know I have done everything to keep this together because my biggest problem with myself is I hate to fail, and watching my marriage end without doing everything I can makes me feel like a failure and I HATE failing.