H has received in the mail and so have I, incentitives to go back to some casinos. We have a had a few trips that way over the months and you know how they work....entice you back with their money and free rooms.
So today, I called, just to chat, say hi. He's perky and said he was thinking about jumping the car today after he teaches his class (part time job as an adjunct professor for a local community college) and going to gamble on their money with the free room. He sounded serious but on the fence. I said I could get tomorrow off and he said Ok, don't do it yet, let me think about it. I said OK.
I thought about it too. And frankly, I don't want to go. I want to stay home and clean my house, esp. S's room and eat some sushi and just chill and watch The Office. So I called him back and said Hey, why don't you go on an H Adventure by yourself? He then sounded super excited! And said "I was thinking it could be an odyssey!" Then I knew, he really wanted to go alone but either didn't know how to tell me or didn't want to hurt my feelings. Fortunately, all the DBing later and the fact that I don't really want to go, it's all good. So he's going to head out all by himself and I think it will be good for him.
Think I got some brownie points......? I think so. I told him S and I could meet him right after class on that side of town, which is near the highway entrance and he could head off for his odyssey/adventure then. H won't eat in his car that's why I offered to meet him for dinner first and then S can see Daddy before he leaves.
Now that Stronger...that is how you DB. The fact that you actually meant it, just makes it great.
I do have a question, one to think about....in the future, would you have gone? Has that been an issue in the past a lack of...spontaneity? Not taking away from the great DBing! Not at all, just something to think about down the road...watch TV or make meories.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Actually, in the past, I always went. We've been to gamble several times since the separation.
And deep down, I felt it....I felt he wanted to go alone...and not that he didn't want to take me specifically, he wanted to go alone. His good buddy here wanted H to wait for him so the good buddy could go too. I told H how to get out of that and that just made him even happier.
As a matter of fact for my birthday he took me two hours toward where he's going tonight.....we went and had dinner at my favorite restaurant and then he said "hey we're only two hours away from gambling....." I said "Let's do it." And we went. Lost our asses, but had a ball still.
So I think I did the right thing here. Hopefull I earned some credit here. A year ago, if he wanted to do this, without me, there would have been quite the negative reaction out of me. This time, I encouraged him to go and like you said, meant it.
That doesn't ruin it and I really did it honestly, because: 1.) I didn't really want to go. 2.) I could feel he wanted to go alone....not that he didn't want me to go, but more that he wanted a little personal adventure, some alone time. And I don't want credit for not going, I would like to know that he noticed....a year ago this would have been a huge huge fight. And today, I was really happy for him.
Yeah, it feels pretty good. Then it's surreal because my lawyer had to answer his filing. So weird. Last night, he was here, made us a yummy dinner, took us for ice cream. Come home, I'm watching The Office, he's downloading some things for S in the other room. Then we're watching TV together and everyone was in bed by 8:45 with lots of snuggles.
Thank goodness I no longer have the strength nor desire to figure this out.
End goal now folks. That's all I've got left in me.
