I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[1853dave]

Hi MotoB,

I don't have much time right now - but I had e-mail from the atty this morning. W's atty sent over the initial settlement proposal. Basically, I give her 90% of my pay, accept a bunch of her debt, and give her the condo. Yeah, where do I sign???

Totally ridiculous.

Had slight talk with W last night about scheduling with the kids. Right now I am down to only Wed during the week. I don't like that, and I let her know. She says we'll have a set sched soon. I mention that I really like to see them every day. She scoots me out the front door and starts to lay into me, saying that I want to keep the kids from her, and I get sole custondy! I tell her that's not what I want - she won;t let me speak - eventually, I get a work in edgewise that I meant every day as in "not divorced." She assures me that she is going through with the divorce, I've told you several times, yadda yadda....

So, I leave, and a few minutes call her back to see if she would call me later or tomorrow to talk about a few things. She said 'not tonight' but maybe tomrrow.

Today she actually called me at 10:20. I could not believe it. I thought for sure she'd blow it off. The fact that she went out of her way to call me is still something to me! This is out of the ordinary for my angry WAW. I told her I only had 10 minutes, but I wanted to ask some questions. She said 'ok', so I asked her what made her decide on seeking the D after things had been going so well for those few weeks. She said, "Oh, we don't have time to discuss this now." I tended to agree, so I mentioned that this was one reason I was hoping we could meet in counseling - so that we could clear the air on a few things, so to speak. I also mentioned that the attys are now stirring (I didn't tell her I got the above e-mail) and once the attys get involved, then the entire world falls apart. I reminded her of how things started getting much better between us as soon as the attys got out of the way earlier in the year. I was afraid that once the hate mail started flying, that things will get adversarial, as a natural byproduct of the D. I told her I want to keep things friendly and cooperative, and she agreed to that.

Personally, unless she decides to come around, I don't really think there's any way to keep it friendly with these attys involved. Their job is to keep it unfriendly. I hate them all.

In the interest of her wanting to keep it friendly, I hope that she opens her eyes when we go to mediation. By then there will have been some cruise missles fired both ways.

I might have to ramp up the time frame to send that letter the DB counselor suggested. I'd like her to have it before the atty warfare starts up.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I know I need to protect myself, but that is also a bit like preventing and preparing for war. I'm trying to do both.

If any of you know a good prayer, rain dance, howl at the moon - whatever it takes - now is the time for it! I need your help!!