How is it fair that he bailed yet he is perfectly good where all the aspects are concerned?
Nothing of this is fair. There is no sense in looking for justice. And yes it does suck. Keep focusing on you and your improvements; that is where you will find progress.
Yes I do get money from him and our state doesn't have legal seperation so that is off the table...
I won't file and he knows it however he hasn't filed either and I guess I just don't understand...
He was so adament about wanting a divorce, he left and then does nothing...
He does nothing because he doesn't have to. Since there is no legal seperation the option is file for divorce. Filing for divorce is not a divorce. Do you like living like you are now? You have a choice. Standing up for yourself will change the dynamics of your sitch for the better.
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Plus you all are so helpful when people are down and feeling like they are at the end of their rope
That's when you tie a knot in the rope and swing. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I hate that I feel I am being forced to go against my beliefs because he just doesn't want to do anything...
He is perfectly content living this way and I may have to sacrifice my value system to move forward in my life because quite honestly I don't know how much longer I can live like this.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I hate that I feel I am being forced to go against my beliefs because he just doesn't want to do anything...
He is perfectly content living this way and I may have to sacrifice my value system to move forward in my life because quite honestly I don't know how much longer I can live like this.
Filing for divorce to protect yourself doesn't go against your values does it? If you file you can drop it.
What a great 180 too. Your husband doesn't think you have the will to do it. It will actually be very attractive to him to see you take care of yourself. Think about it. Find out the facts for your state, talk to a lawyer. Worst thing that could happen is you know another option.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
You will be amazed at what triggers your emotions. Ride them out like waves. I've only been at this for 4 months, but it's better. I still cry, but not as often and not as long. People are coming into my life whom I never expected...a true blessing.
I filed ONLT to protect myself financially. I don't want to lose my marriage and my financial security. I can always withdraw the petition and my lawyer knows I want to attempt reconciliation.
Hang in there....this experience sucks, but you will prevail in the end. Take care of those kiddos!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
How could something so small as a picture trigger this many emotions all at once?
Because you keep looking for your husband to change. You are hurting and you want him to fix it. Place your focus on caring for yourself. Puppy is right don't act or make decisions while emotional. Take care of yourself - physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Learn to manage your energy.
Serenity, this is your journey to make. Think about Jesus praying in the garden. You won't be given a burden that you can't handle. Get some rest, eat something, stay hydrated and say a prayer for strength and wisdom.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Let him drive off in the woods and get stuck in the mud. Take the high road and don't let him define you.
(Easier said than done but much more rewarding).
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Thank you Golf...Looks like I have some more waves to ride out but I am glad to hear it is getting better
Coach - It truly means a lot to me to have you on here with some very sound advice.
You are correct, I am looking for any kind of change and when I don't see it or it looks like he is moving further and further away, it truly hurts to my soul.
I don't understand why one week I am good and then boom one little thing and I feel like I am back to square one...
You gave me a wonderful thought that I will put to use and I thank you for that
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
