Your H sounds a lot like the old GIMA. I love my kids more than anything. And, I was impatient, unreasonable and overprotective with them, especially my S. I now have a much different R with them that is the best it has ever been. Last night had to discipline S (which I did by "fining" him $1 - according to him, the death penalty) after a very long, attitude filled day by him), but I do it now from a loving perspective.
The point is, I suspect there is something else driving your H's need to control/protect the kids. Could be insecurity, lack of self worth (he really doesn't like himself and the kids get the brunt of his frustration he has with himself), could just be not knowing a way to parent the kids positively (they don't come with instruction manuals, unfortunately).
What really troubles me (and you I'm sure) is his refusal to see a C, either for him, you or the kids.
Have you guys had a heart to heart about C for the kids? You might get him to agree to it if it is for them, not so much for saving the M. You could spin it as C to help both of you learn how to best co-parent the kids given the possibility of S and D.
This,
Quote:
I feel like I need to have a couple of sessions with a C, consult with a L, and then be very smart into putting plan into action.
