[Speaking in my gentle, kind and caring voice] To be honest, I just read a series of really well crafted excuses. Excuses written by a person who knows what happiness is, has every right and reason to be happy, is not going to allow it to happen. Taking responsibility for it means allowing it to happen A&K.
Well, my happiest time was when I had the singular focus of caring for my first child and my husband was making a decent living. I felt such simple and clear purposefulness...that is just not duplicatable at this moment.
But, I take from it that I (as many people do) feel more content when I feel purposeful and not spread so thin. I don't have a clear path for that kind of scenario.
I am open to many possibilities as I recognize that everything has it's postives and negatives. This has served me well and helped me pull out of my depression and know that whatever happens, we'll be ok. But, on the flip side, it makes it tough for me to feel passionate about any given path.
I am trying to break it down and I think it needs to start with how much money I will get from H so I know what I'm working with.
And, of course, I concur that it is all "excuses"...I have so much anxiety when I wake up in the morning and I talk myself into a better place, mostly by reminding myself that it will all work out somehow and that my happiness is my choice...but, I've got to take the next step and care enough to make choices.
