Thanks for your message; I remember you were one of the first people to write to em back in February and your insight meant and still means a great deal.
Yes, he is toxic, and I wish I could be grounded in that. He has become more and more problematic, or at least that is the way that I read things in the last 9 months.
I have been fighting like a warrior to protect me and our D8 over the last few months. She has gone through an horrific time. She has been put through so much. I have managed to limit H's access time with her to 3 days a week, he has fought tooth and nail on this but I have managed to sustain it. He is furious aht I have fought him this hard. Je is still under safety order but now taht he has his own apartment I dont know whether it us taht relevant any more.
I have detached to a certain point. I havent spoken to or seen him in three months. This does not seem to bother him. that fact for some reason has broken my heart even more; it seems to invalidate anything that I have meant to him in the last ten years.
He has turned into a cruel, heartless, unfeeling, cold, disinterested person as far as I am concerned. He has deleted me, and only me from his life.
I am left, after 9 months wishing I was further along but am filled with grief. The only thing I am proud of is that I have managed to keep my daughter, protect and raise her in great adversity, and I have managed to stay true to my word that I want him no where near me.
I simply dont know what else to do. I dont know what to do with this grief. I am working again but I cant make ends meet. My health is an ongoing concern. for the first time in my life I feel defeated; I am not this sort of person.
You are right; I dont want my D growing into a marriage with a mna like my H has become. I dont want her thinking taht it is Ok for men to do this to women. But my H is very crafty, very intelligent, very good with text/words, works in theatre etc. I feel overwhelmed at times. I wish I was stronger
