A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

A few more tidbits from the Coaching session.

When I told JoAnn about the cuddle night in the Master bed, esp. about the extent of the roving hands on both sides, she laughed.

DB Coach: I love it when they have affairs with their wives! (referring to the fact that he may have been 'cheating' on OW with me)

She also liked that we had a direct conversation about not making love that night. She said his desire to wait sounded very mature, that it seemed like he'd grown during the separation - which I think he has.

Then we had the 1-10 conversation. I gave the marriage a '3 or 4', up from 1 (What marriage?)last time. I said that maybe the score wasn't even fair. That if we could just get rid of the limbo to where I know we were actually working on things, it would be more like a 6 or 7. Making love and ditching OW would then take it to 8 or 9.

Then we talked about intimacy, not the physical kind, and she told me to take heart about the verbal/emotional intimacy we've been building.

DB Coach: That's the *real* intimacy in a relationship; not the sex. It's the sharing of your innermost thoughts and feelings, trusting your partner with vulnerabilities, insecurities, warts and all. If you can listen, validate and make him safe sharing those things with you, *thats* intimacy.