I am a 27 year old wife with a 2 year old son. My husband and I dated for 6 years through high school and college before getting married in 2005. Throughout the courtship there have always been problems with other girls. He always became emotionally attached to another girl about every 2-3 years and then I would find out and tell him we can break up so he could see if this would pan out. He always said no and we could continue on.
March 2009 is when I found out that he was having feelings again for a coworker. He then began to blame me for it and said how I had become distant and critical since the birth of our son...I completely agree with this. I then found out he was meeting her after work at her house and one day caught him lying to me. He left for a few days and came back. He officially moved out April 26, 2009 and moved in to her house with her husband. We did not talk much of May until his parents got him a house to live in for free. (It is a house of a family friend that is trying to sell it.) He liked the idea because then he didn't have to sign a lease so if he wanted to come home he could without penalty.
Through the separation he almost lost his job because of the relationship and blamed me, and other things. May 23, 2009 is when he moved into this other house. She then moved in with him for a while (although he still does not admit it) because her and her husband are having problems.
Being a teacher I have summers off and was hoping we could work on things to make have a solution by the end of the summer. We talked a lot and hung out, but with no change. HE still was "not attracted to me anymore" and "wasn't in love with me and never thought he was". Anyway finally once school started again I became desperate because I did not want things to be the same as school had ended last year. I got Divorce Remedy from the library, and have found it very helpful. I started applying the Last Resort Technique 1.5 weeks ago, but I am still feeling like I have already tried this over the summer months and he just never wants to come home, although he says he knows he should and ultimately will. Since last week I have not talked about our relationship, made future plans without him involved, and stopped saying I love you. There have been some small signs of love, but when we are together he talks about the OP and what they have been doign together. He has said if he comes home he still wants to be her friend so I am trying to deal with him talking about her since he does everything with her.
I just need some support to continue on because I feel at times it is a lost cause. I am frustrated because he keeps telling me to "not give up" on him, but then he spends all of his free time with OP and on top of that he is spending all of his money going out of town with her on the weekends, and is not giving me any money to help support our son. Lastly, my son, although 2, is taking this really hard lately. At the beginning it didn't bother him too much, but now I think he is hitting a stage where he wants to bond with a male so when my husband is around he loves it, but every time he leaves my son cries and will NOT sleep in his own bed (daddy always left at night after he was asleep)
I know I need to keep changing for myself and my son(I am going to a therapist too starting the same time I found the book), but it is so hard when we are so connected through my son and every time my husband sees him, they have fun, but I am the one who then has to pick up the broken pieces and I am the one finacially supporting. I am frustrated and confused...
