Yesterday during the sermon at church the pastor made a quick joking, lighthearted comment about midlife crisis (don't really remember what it was in reference to) and the thought that went through my head at that moment is how it is so not a joke. Most people (that I know anyway) have absolutely no clue what it is really about, and I was included in that until a few months ago.
Of course, we are all allowed a little levity here - anything to lighten the pain a bit that we are all going through.
I agree, I also thought Mid Life Crisis was just a joke, an excuse for men to go off and do anything they pleased. Well, that's partly true. They do go off and do anything they please, but it's not a joke, it's so much more than that. It's a mental sickness.
Doing pretty well so far this week. I have my PMA on for the most part, as long as I am able to stop trying to figure out the crazy stuff. Because I can't.
Okay, so I have been thinking a lot lately about setting goals, and how to go about doing this realistically with an MLCer. One goal I have thought of is to watch a TV show (or DVD) together which we have not done since pre-bomb sometime. I am tossing the idea around in my mind of asking him about it tonight since one of our common interest shows is starting back up today. However, I am not sure I have lowered my expectations to zero enough to do so. The old adage "it doesn't hurt to ask" doesn't apply here as it might very well hurt if he says no.
I guess we will see where I am a few hours from now. . . I really don't want to push him away at all but he has been so much friendlier and seems more relaxed lately. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone for now and postpone it for another time.
So how did it go? Did you watch a show/movie together? Were you able to ask him?
I have found that now when H and I are watching a movie together that I am uncomfortable. Probably worried if he will start R talk. Spewing, or justifying. I think I am also uncomfortable because of what has gone on and things are not the same. There is a third party if you know what I mean.
I know the rejection is terrible. Just last night I was making hamburgers for dinner. I asked H if he wanted one and he said no I want hot dogs. He had his hot dogs, and I ate my delicious hamburger. I also made fried potatoes w/onions, and they smelled so good. I asked him if he wanted some and he said no. He then came into the kitchen and popped a potato into the microwave. WOW! Hotdogs with a baked potato. YUM
Do something for Faith today! I am going to have an MJ Day!
No, I didn't ask him. He didn't make it home for dinner (all about expectations - he had been coming home for dinner the past few weeks after not for so long - so him not coming irritated me). Anyway, maybe one of these days.
BUT he just brought me lunch. I was floored. Hasn't done that in about a 100 years it feels like.
Mmmmmm . . . hot dog with baked potato. Interesting combo!
Trying to figure out something to do for myself today.
