Not Me...Ever part 2

[Serenity13]

Thanks to you all who responded to my dumb move...

I will say once again FB is the work of the devil...

I don't understand why I went there to begin with since I have been doing so good by not looking...

I went home and had a good breakdown then once again picked myself up off the floor and continued on with my day...

Told my MIL last night I thought I was done with the crying and the absolute pain but I guess not...

This is sucking the life out of me one day at a time it seems...

I know I am better today then I was yesterday and I will be better tomorrow then I am today however I miss him and that isn't changing no matter how much I want it to...

I do my 180's and I GAL however how is he supposed to see any changes when he is so far along in the fog he can barely see his hand in front of him?

How is it fair that he bailed yet he is perfectly good where all the aspects are concerned?

His family is basically homeless, yet he has an apartment...

His family doesn't have a reliable car, yet he has a nice reliable car...

I am having to swallow my pride and rely on other people to help me, yet he is just skating through this like he doesn't have a care in the world...

I have set boundries, changed my bank account, spoke to a lawyer, I don't call, text or email and when I do see him I always have a smile on my face, I stopped saying I love you, I stopped any kind of physical interaction - WTF has he done?

If he calls, I never answer and always wait to return his call, same if he texts...

Tomorrow will be 10 weeks since he walked out...

10 weeks and he hasn't even tried to see our youngest son...

10 weeks of nothing but lies and selfish behavior - WTH kind of man does that?

Why am I the only one trying to save this marriage?

Excuse the pity party however I have so many questions and zero answers and it just sucks.